


The End Of The Line (Or Maybe Just The Beginning)

by Icedfoxboy



Category: Captain America, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other, Stucky if you squint hard enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 22:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15716589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icedfoxboy/pseuds/Icedfoxboy
Summary: Sarah Rogers is dying. Bucky makes a promise.





	The End Of The Line (Or Maybe Just The Beginning)

Sarah is dying. It's obvious in her paling skin and dull eyes. All I can do is wait here as she fades away and remember what it was like before. How she used to run her fingers through my hair as a boy and laugh whole heartedly because it refused to lay flat even then. Or when she took Steve and I to the beach when Steve tuned 8. She'd called out helplessly for us to not go into the ocean for the sake of Steve's health. But when did young boys listen? What I'd give right now to hear her voice in that beautiful sing song attitude once more.   
Her eyes used to enchant you with unimaginable energy. She was so full of life. Her silky blonde curls fell past her shoulder in a way that was almost graceful. She used to say that she'd marry a fella in an instant if it wasn't for her ill health and need to care for her sick little boy. But never did she seem resentful. Sarah was greatful for everything life could give her. The small things and the big things about the world fascinating her more than the average lady. It was warranted. Despite her youth, she knew she was destined for the tragedy of an early grave.

And I think of Steve, too. Only 17 and sleeping almost soundlessly beside his mother. The rattle in his chest the tell tale sign that he too was not so lucky as most. And this is when it hits me. For the first time in 11 years I realise exactly what his illness will mean for him.   
Steve and Sarah are one in the same. A roaring fire, vibrant and beautiful, but fleeting. If lost in the darkness of this void we call life they will light your way. And just like the flame, they run on borrowed time. For at any moment a cold winters day could arrive and extinguish their glow. 

Please, if there is a God out there. I beg you. Not yet. Please don't take her yet. Heaven can wait just a little bit longer, can it not? But the heaving of her lungs reminds me that there is no such hope. My hand grasping hers firmly as I once did as a boy. All I can hope for is that her eyes stay open for as long as the cold winter can allow. 

"You will look after him, won't you?" Her voice is mellowed out and tired. Another sign that she is slipping away from us. That I'm soon to lose a mother once again. Sarah was never meant to be quiet. She was born to be loud, destined to be heard. Yet here she is. Silent as the night compared to the rays of the sun that she once put to shame. 

"As if he'll ever be rid of me." My voice is fragile and I can tell that she knows I'm trying to be strong. A mother always knows. Still, her sunshine curls bounce merrily as a small chuckle escapes her throat. A ghost of the laugh that I hold close from my childhood mishaps. But for a brief moment, she looks exactly as she had just one month earlier. Before the cold months had stripped both her and her miracle boy of their health. 

"You're a good boy, James." She paused to place her hand on my cheek, brushing away a stray tear that had escaped me. "How blessed I was to have been given another son." Sarah's smile is that of a loving mother. One who is saying goodbye, but longs to stay a little longer. I may not have been born to her, but I never doubted that she had accepted me as her own. And now I have to lose her. 

The tears begin to fall, for once I allow myself to be weak. Bury myself in a mothers embrace and cry my feelings into her night gown. I can't accept this. It can't be the end. This can't be goodbye. 

"I love you, ma." I sound like a stranger to my own ears. Vulnerable and unsure. Although I'm 18, the softness that coats my voice is that of a child. "We both do." I glance at Steve, still sleeping gracefully by her side. Sarah's smiles weakly, running her fingers in the strands of her children's hair once more. She murmurs how she loves us both more than life itself and I feel myself sink further into her. How could a world be so cruel to a kind soul like Sarah Rogers? 

We sat like that in silence, the sound of breathing and the odd sob the only indication that this freezing room remained occupied. After what might have been ten minutes, Steve finally awoke. And then the room is full of life. We talk and laugh like we have all the time in the world. Though the truth is, so couldn't have less. But we were young again and Sarah less frail, if only for a bittersweet moment. 

And then that moment ends. Sarah's eyes begin to lose focus and flutter closed. We hold our breath and listen to the rhythm of her heartbeat steadily decline. Within minutes the rhythm is gone, and so is she. 

Clinging to Steve with all I have as she is taken away from us, it becomes clear to me. Perhaps Heaven needed her more. A beautiful soul who took me in when I lost my own mother and guided me onto the right path. Yes, heaven needed someone like Sarah Rogers. 

Sarah, I promise you. I will protect your little trouble maker. I'll follow him wherever he goes until he is reunited with you. I am not going anywhere. I'm going to be with him until the end of the line.

**Author's Note:**

> I went to a funeral today. I tried to write a Stucky fanfiction but it just didn't quite work out. This is also my first fanfic since I was 13 so spare me my errors. I'm trying.


End file.
